Earlier this month we brought you a story on what we thought was the plaid-est car on the maket. Plaid Week’s staff of researchers may have found another contender for that title. We are sure you have seen Dodge Ram Tradesman Conversion Vans before, you know, that van your parents and teachers told you to stay away from. Today we are sending Plaid Week’s own investigative reporter, Jimbo Wilson, inside a 1978 Dodge Ram Tradesman Conversion Vans to what kind of plaid secrets lurk inside. Here is his account:
“Reporters log, June 11, 2009: As I am approached the Tradesman I could not help but to think to by self how many different shades of brown could they put on a van. At first count I saw no less than five. The tint on the rear windows was dark like a raven’s eye. I knew if I was going to get to the bottom of this mystery I was going to have to go inside. I entered from the large rear side door found on the passenger side. The doors flung open to reveal their shag lining, I was mesmerized.
Once I regained by senses I saw the opposite wall (is that what you call them in a van?) was covered in wood paneling. I felt like I was back in the basement of my parents Wisconsin home. Like so many that came before me, I entered the van slowly stepping on the plush shag carpet that covered the floor. There was an odd wood paneled cubic box structure in front of me, my mind began to race. What could this be? I sat there for a good hour pondering what this could be. Was it some ancient piece of exercise equipment? A mobile heart and lung machine? The cryptex Robert Langdon searched for in the highly popular movie The Da Vinci Code? I knew there was only one way to know for sure, to muster up the courage to open this receptacle I put on my officially licensed Indian Jones and the Last Crusade Adventure Fedora. With this hat I knew nothing could get to me. I gingerly opened the vessel just incase opening it would lead to the end of the world. To my relief I discovered this was an ice box filled with RC Cola and Tab Soda. I have to admit for a minute I was not sure if I would see Plaid Week 2010.
I grabbed a can of Tab and sat in the lazyboy-esque chair in the center row. This was probably the most comfortable chair I had ever sat in. I set my drink down on the conveniently located table located between the two middle row seats, reclined and relaxed. In the reclined position I could see the headliner of the van. It was a cornucopia of materials and patterns, wood, leather and shag. I felt like I was I was in a 1970’s United Nations meeting only instead of nations there were building materials, but otherwise the same thing. I still had yet to uncover the plaid myths that made this such a fabled ride.
Thinking all of this had been for nothing I looked down to my pager attached to my belt. There it was, I was sitting on it all a long, the seats were covered in plaid. I am not sure if it was because of the perils of my ordeal or the fact that I had just drank 6 cans of 20 year old soda but it was the most beautiful plaid I had ever seen. It was as if a rose, humming bird and unicorn came together to design this plaid. A single tear fell from my left eye. Normally I would have told some sort of lie like I had an eyelash in it or that it was due to residual damage my face incurred during a bar brawl but I knew that if anyone else was there at this moment they would understand. Like the Gold Pioneers of 1849, I had struck gold.”
Jimbo truly had a periling experience. For more photos from Jimbo’s expedition and for other item Jimbo found checkout the photos below.
Ram Photos Via Car Domain
