Plaid pants, we have all known and loved them for years, maybe even took them for grant-it unless you are Vince Iwakami of Vancouver, British Columbia. Vince’s plaid pants are not your typical pants; they poses a magical quality that allows Vince to sit while wearing them without having to use a chair. Yes you read that correctly.
“I picked up the pants at Stitches to get ready for Plaid Week not thinking anything of it until several weeks later. I was at Tim Horton’s one night, my friends and I go there every Friday night after badminton practice. I always get the Timbits (bite-sized donuts to Americans). Like usual we could not find anywhere to sit. As a joke I pretended to sit and to my surprise my weight was supported. At first I thought my extra calf workouts had been paying off. The next week like clockwork we went back to Timmie’s, this time I was wearing jeans. I pulled the same fake seat maneuver which was a crowd please last time, this time I fell right on my rear, I looked like such a hoser. It was at that moment I realized those plaid pants were magical.”
News of Vince’s magical plaid pants spread quick. It was not long before reporters from the Vancouver Sun were camped outside Iwakami’s house hoping to catch a glimpse. Upon hearing the news Ken Kwapis, director of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, bought the story rights to the pants. It is rumored that Kwapis paid north of $80 million for them. When asked why so much, this is what Kwapis had to say “Umm… did you hear these pants are magical plaid, you can not just make this stuff up. An opportunity like this only comes around once in a blue moon. It is going to be an instant money maker. Everyone wears pants, everyone has pants, EVERYONE LOVES PANTS! If my experience from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants taught me anything, it was that pants sell movie tickets. When combined with the fact this movie will be about plaid pants, there is no way this can fail. I woke up yesterday and had to pinch myself, I could not believe I have had the good fortune to make so many movies about pants.”
Unfortunately none of my plaid pants have magic powers.
